Sex Talk

Tomorrow I travel to Malone University to talk about sexuality. The title for the event is PMS...even guys deal with it. I'm not discussing cramps and mood swings, but Pornography, Masturbation, and Sex.

My buddy, a Resident Director at the university, selected me to converse with his students. One of them asked, "What makes him qualified to teach us about the subject?"

The answer is simple: I have sex. Good sex. Indeed, my wife and I rather delight in the process. Moreover, in a world rampant with sexual dysfunction, addiction, and perversion, shame on godly voices deferring to the godless culture on the topic. I will not defer.

Many parents don't talk about sex with their children; health teachers and peers do.

Many pastors don't talk about sex with their congregation; television and advertisements do.

Many small groups and married couples don't talk about sex with their Christian peers; fraternities and sororities do.

Sex is an uncomfortable topic because of Christian deference. We have allowed our culture to take a sacred pleasure and distort it into carnal play. It is sacred because its context is intended for marriage, in which intimacy reaches its logical extreme: Two become one (Gen. 2:18-24; 1 Cor. 6:12-20). It is pleasure because it is good.

Carnal play reverses the intended progression of relationships. Relationships should move from infatuation to frustration to maturation. Intimacy should deepen in each phase. Unfortunately, we're duped into believing sex is the assurance of intimacy. And we trust the campaign that promises sex will birth intimacy.

Erroneous.

Deep relationships are never the result of a single transmission. Intimacy is a cumulative good; sex is a wonderful benefit.

Blueberry Muffins

A girl brought blueberry muffins to college group last night. Two dozen were arranged neatly on three Dixie plates. During most of the discussion, they sat untouched.

The theme of the evening was technology and its unintended consequences in human relationships. My wife and I led, citing experts, reading Scripture, and eliciting the occasional laughter. The previous year we had shared with this group insights on married life and sexual purity. We said some awkward things. This year we chose technology because it is an easier and more convenient topic.

• It is easier to send a text message when you're late than to call the person and hear the disappointment in her voice.
• It is more convenient to broadcast your weekend update and assume someone reads it than to meet him in person read his disinterested body language.
• It is easier to turn the television on at night than to sit on the front porch and converse.
• It is more convenient to bring grocery store donuts to college group than bake blueberry muffins and arrange them neatly on Dixie plates.

Easy and convenient are the recipe of fast food relationships. But the Bible models a different form of hospitality: where grain is collected, leaven rises, and the oven stays hot all day; where dishes pile up and trash collects; where hands and shirts get dirty; where tax collectors honor the BYOB mandate; where whores break in and hijack the conversation.

Blessed is the girl who brings homemade blueberry muffins to college group--we her be remembered when the gospel is preached. She toiled for us for over an hour, cooking and cleaning. Homemade goods are the proof that she values community. I said this last night, and students found their appetite. They wanted to taste the love.

My thinking on meals has been influenced by Eugene Peterson, who writes:

Meals take time, meals are inefficient, meals are not 'productive.' And so meals are streamlined, made efficient, individualized--the personal and relational and communal are abbreviated as much as possible...The centrality of the meal in our lives is greatly diminished. We still eat, of course, but the intricate cultural world of the meal has disintegrated. The exponential rise of fast-food meals means that there is little leisure for conversation; the vast explosion of restaurants is evidence that far less food preparation and clean-up takes place in homes... (Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places pg. 216).

His thoughts apply to food in any portion--coffee breaks, midnight snacks, Saturday brunch, bread and cup. The church needs better table etiquette if it wants to bless an obese and dying world.

Unfortunately, too many Christian family's reflect the hurried life of a student who spoke up. "Our family hasn't eaten a meal together in weeks. We usually grab Subway because its the cheapest."

And easy. And convenient. And empty.

Random Readings and Reflections

Yesterday I read more of my sermon than I usually do. Frankly, I do not manuscript. The few attempts produced articulate literary documents that lacked pathos in their verbal execution. I don't like to read from the pulpit; yesterday was an exception because I was not reading my reflections, but God's revelation. I counted 127 verses spoken--a liturgical tour de force. By the end I was desperate for oxygen.

Paul told Timothy not to forsake the public reading of Scripture, as well as exhortation and teaching (1 Tim. 4:13). From the pulpit we often get more of the latter than the former.
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Christianity today editor, Mark Galli, explores the 'need [for] spiritual and moral renewal,' in his current article entitled, "In the Beginning, Grace" (Oct. 2009, pg. 24). His essay cites a book by sociologists Christian Smith and Melinda Lundquist, Soul Searching: The Religious and Spiritual Lives of American Teenagers, whose research confirmed a belief system that synchronizes Christianity with Popular Psychology. They have coined this phenomenon "Christian Moralistic Therapeutic Deism." In other words, God is a remote deity who informs my ethics and comforts my pain. Bowing to His sovereignty is optional.

Sadly, this circumcised faith is not limited to teenagers. "We have come with some confidence to believe that a significant part of Christianity in the United States is actually only tenuously Christian in any sense that is seriously connected to the actual historical Christian tradition..."
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In his 2009 publication, Lost and Found: The Younger Unchurched and the Churches that Reach Them, Ed Stetzer and company conducted two-years' worth of polling. The research supports a Moralistic Therapeutic Deism in many of the younger unchurched, but this finding does not bode well for the church. In fact, 90% of people surveyed agree to the following belief: I can have a good relationship with God without being involved in a church (pg. 54).

Admittedly, the word church carries with it more baggage than Indiana's elderly at the first sign of frost. But popular opinion (of the unchurched) raises the question: How does church involvement increase our intimacy with God?
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Self-proclaimed Geek par excellent of Wired Magazine, Scott Brown, laments our national obsession with 'imperialistic' science fiction overloaded with 'ever-shinier effects' (see "All Aboard!" Nov. 2009, pg. 083). The critique is founded. And I confess, I love dystopian stories. Give me Orwell. Give me Huxley. Give me Darth Vader chucking the Empower into the Death Star's reactor core.

But I digress: What intrigued me about Brown's article is the connection he made about imperialism and evangelicalism. He writes, "Like its not-so-distant cousin American religion, American sci-fi is fixated on final battles, ultimate judgment (particularly on questions of control and leadership), and an up-or-down vote on the whole good/evil issue." The following sentence curtly references the Book of Revelation.

So evangelicals are criticized for reading their Bible like science fiction. Or is it possible that Brown has the order reversed, perhaps science fiction authors are criticized for making their stories reflect God's.

Brown's point considered, it is possible we obsess over the Bible's flashy ending, and churches obsess about flashy services, and somewhere along the line, we lose the plot: A holy God invites people to worship Him because Jesus' life/death/resurrection secured the way. A stumbling block to the M.T.Diests. Foolishness to the Geeks.
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"Who is like You among the Gods, O LORD?
Who is like you, majestic in holiness,
Awesome in praises, working wonders" (Ex. 15:11).

Illiteracy

"Why don't you read the Bible?" I asked my friend.

He provided an initial list of excuses: boredom, familiarity, lack of understanding. Like most Christians, his Bible reading is spotty, inconsistent, and marked by frustration. To his credit, he is a literate person. Piper, Claiborne, Oberbrunner, Lewis, and a pair of Stanleys (Andy and Hauerwas) line his shelves. Peter and Paul, Mark and John, Moses and Isaiah have been relegated to footnotes.

Avoidance of the Bible concerns me. While the Bible remains atop the bestsellers list, it receives as much play time as a Rick Astley songs on my iPod.



Being a good friend and motley pastor, I interrogated his reasons. "You like stories, right? (You are, indeed, postmodern.) Why not read the Bible as a story? It starts in a Garden and ends in a City. In between, there are several episodes of crisis and intervention, which culminate on the Cross. Now the church carries the crisis intervention story into a Brave New World."

"But I have trouble understanding the Bible. You need a pastor to explain it. That's their job," he replied.

As a pastor/teacher, I understand the sentiment. I am to labor in explaining the text, but I can no more read the Bible for someone than change his beliefs. So I countered, "Who taught you how to interpret Rob Bell, Malcolm Gladwell, and the Stanleys? Does everyone write clearly except for God (and Shakespeare)? I'd like to think the basic meaning of Scripture is evident. Moreover, we have the promise of the Holy Spirit who guides us in all truth."

He nodded. And as we continued the discussion, the fundamental reason surfaced. He does not read the Bible because he struggles to be intimate with God. So he settles for third-party affiliates. This is a tragic and all too common affair.

I felt sheepish and over-simplistic, but I encouraged him to read the Bible. Such literacy cultivates intimacy.

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NOTE: Inspired by a true story. I have changed names and modified dialogue to protect the innocent. Rick Astley never came up in the conversation with my friend. He never does.

Refreshments

At our Fall Festival we sold refreshments for fifty cents. Cold winds fueled hot chocolate sales. Cookies sold by the dozens. People will throw cash at a cheap insulin boost. Energy drink sales are a testimony to our national lust for carbohydrates and fructose. Our refreshment table profited more than one hundred and fifty dollars.

I'm a self-proclaimed cheapskate, so I waited until the 'For Sale' signed turned to 'Free.' In fact, I announced the sign change and took a gob. We had already paid out the prize money from the fund-raiser, so additional monies were unnecessary. I took, broke, blessed, and ate. But I was not refreshed.

After three weeks of phone calls, email confirmations, event planning, poster distribution, task management, weather forecasts, and worries, I was going to need more than cocoa and creme filling to refresh me.

My typical menu of nourishing activities includes: quality time with my wife and children, jogging, reading, writing, watching football, listening to music (and occasionally making it), and hiking. While some of these exercises are more spiritual than others, they are all important for me to maintain a healthy perspective, a guarded heart. Event planning and home improvement replaced these, leaving me malnourished. I don't thrive on fast food, gobs, and to do lists. Fortunately, God satisfies the thirsty soul (Psalm 63).

Roofing

I helped my friend put a new roof on his house this weekend. He gathered a motley crew of in-laws, pastors, and handymen. The roof was leaky, shingles curled, and drip edge damaged. My job, as pastor and construction novice, was aligning shingles while another worker shot nails into place.

I lusted after the power of the nail gun, every pull of the trigger sounding a piercing Ptssst. Ptssst. Ptssst. But I accepted my role as leveler. Straight lines are aesthetically pleasing. Menial tasks are still meaningful. And if you don't catch a crooked line, not only will you follow it to the end of the roof, you will throw off every line above you.

I think there is a moral about orthodoxy here.

Target

Yesterday I was a target. I should have known when a member of the church wanted to make sure I would be available and up front during the announcements. He was tasked to inspire involvement with our fall festival.

The theme of the festival is Get Flushed, playing on sewer imagery. Within three months everyone in the town of Leesburg (IN) has to abandon their septic tanks and hook up to the communal sewer system. People balk at change, especially when it is mandated at the tune of several thousand dollars. Our church wants to bring levity to the situation. If change is inevitable, we assume you might as well embrace it joyfully.

This brings me back to the front of the church with a toilet seat in my hands. The man at the microphone had given it to me, and he begins explaining the nature of a game called Toilet Paper Toss. One sentence into his explanation, and I cringe: A synchronized front of church people, armed with toilet paper rolls, stands to deliver. On cue they launch their single-ply missiles, unraveling as they soar through the air. I duck and dodge, repositioning the toilet seat, but recognizing that it is simply a prop; Pastor Tim (PT) is the real bulls-eye.

The conclusion was humorous. The man at the microphone said, "We wanted to see what it was like to Tepee PT." Sometimes pastors get hit. They are easy targets.

"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints" (Eph. 6:18, NIV)